


Playing House with the Hunters

by Asian_Aaron_Samuels



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Accidental Baby Acquisition, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Bisexuality, Dad Humor, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Family Fluff, HexHunter, Humor, M/M, Making Out, Mild Sexual Content, Team as Family, Time Dad, Timehex, basically me trying to see if people would read the real fic I haven't written yet, this is really just a ficlet dedicated to each Hunter kid, well it's implied
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-10
Updated: 2017-10-20
Packaged: 2019-01-15 04:18:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12313620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Asian_Aaron_Samuels/pseuds/Asian_Aaron_Samuels
Summary: That HexHunter AU where season one Legends are Rip's kids (except for Carter and Martin) and Jonah's a bounty hunter.





	1. Late Night Woes

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to my favourite egg whom I promised this to over a year ago but then I got distracted and I wrote them a Beronica fic so I figured we were square. 
> 
> Eggsy, thank you for letting me vent all the time, particularly these last few days. I'd probably lose my mind if I didn't talk to you as much as I do. Thanks for everything. -OwO-
> 
> Also guys, this is just a fun, non serious fic. Just me trying to relieve some stress with a ship I love and a fic I've had sitting in my laptop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rip and Jonah talk about the Nonsense Rip goes through as a father of adopted children.

"As much as I get a kick out of watching you jump out of your clothes, you should watch out before you knock into something."

**_BANG!_ **

"Bloody fuck!"

"Like the dresser."

Jonah moved to still his lover before he could sustain anymore injuries while fighting to take off his shirt with his jacket still on. He placed a steady hand on the small of Rip's back to still him then went on to unzip his leather jacket before attempting to remove his gray t-shirt. He moved onto undoing Rip's ridiculously tight jeans and shuffled them down to his feet to be kicked off. Once the British male was down to his briefs and in the process of toeing off his socks, Jonah went to work on getting out of his own clothes.

Rip didn't bother with pajamas, he went to his side of the bed and unceremoniously dropped onto the mattress. A moment later his boyfriend threw himself at his side clad in his boxers and white tank. He turned his head to face the bounty hunter, eyes looking over the calm expression the latter had.

"I should stop going to those stupid fucking meetings," the Englishman muttered.

"I don't blame you, those moms are ridiculous."

"You weren't there," Rip frowned, "You didn't hear what that Penny Mayes said to me."

Jonah wormed his arm out from under his body to cup Rip's cheek, he stroked from the apple of his cheek to the tail of Rip's brow. 

"Tell me."

"I was speaking with the PTA at the fundraiser and the topic of discussion was troublesome children. They were all talking about how their daughters do this and their sons do that."

"Okay."

"I decided to contribute to the conversation by adding Mick's reoccurring theme of getting detention and how tiresome it has become having to lecture him on his misbehaviour." Rip closed his eyes, prompting Jonah to ghost his finger over his lids.

"And then?" Jonah questioned softly.

"And then Penny Mayes suggested oh so casually like we were discussing the sodding weather that if Mick is such a problem child that perhaps I should send him back to Child Serv-"

The older brunet's unruffled state quickly did a 180 and he was rising onto his elbows to stare at his younger lover with wide eyes.

"You're shitting me."

Rip let out a humourless laugh as he opened his eyes to stare blankly at him, "My thoughts exactly, darling."

"She treated the matter as if sending one of the kids away was like returning a chipped mug."

The former captain rolled onto his back, he trained his eyes on Jonah's face and just watched all the emotions clouding his eyes.

"I know you wouldn't give the kids back," Jonah stated.

"Thank you for that."

"Those kids down the hall are your family, they mean the world to you."

Rip lifted his hand to stroke the back of it against his lover's stubbly face.

"They aren't the only ones." 

Jonah scooted closer while Rip followed suit to press their lips together. The kiss was sweet until the older male went from being next to his lover to caging him with his body, although Rip didn't mind one bit. His hands snaked under Jonah's tank to roam over each inch of hot skin until they rested lightly on the front of the latter's boxers. Jonah himself was busy swallowing the tiny moans that filled the small space between their mouths. Just when he started to rut against the smaller man's pelvis and grunt like a grizzly, he went still as a mountain.

Eyebrows raised and panting softly Rip spoke up, "Wha-"

"Kids," is all the answer he received as Jonah quickly pulled away to situate himself under the dark comforter.

That's when the soft knocks came and the actual parent of the couple understood. He laughed while telling whomever was on the other side to come in.

Leo pushed open the door with the hand that wasn't carrying Paddington.

"There's my little lion," Rip said still slightly out of breath as he pulled the comforter back to let his son in.

The four year old ran to jump onto the bed and army crawled in between the two adults. He tucked his teddy into his arm and pulled the blanket up to his chin. Comfortable, he looked up at the matching green eyes.

"Having trouble falling asleep, bub?" Jonah asked.

Leo nodded, "Mick's making scary ghost noises again."

The grown men paused and shared a look of abject horror.

"You wouldn’t happen to have seen a-a girl who isn't one of your sisters go into his room?"

He nodded.

They both started to chuckle at the absurdity of a little boy running from a brother making the beast with two backs to go to his father who was just getting started.

"All right, my little lion, I'll have a word with Mick in the morning about scaring you through the walls."

"Thanks, Daddy," Leo situated his stuffed bear to sleep beside him.

"In the meantime," Jonah said while reaching for the light switch, "Bedtime."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my lovely little birdies~! Thank you for reading the first chapter of this little sneak peek of a bigger HexHunter fic. I just wanted to show you guys some of the dynamics between the characters and some world building since this is a modern AU where most of the season one Legends are Rip's kids save for Carter and Martin. I hope this hypes you guys up for when I actually post the fic.
> 
> Anyways, take care all and don't talk about adopted/foster children like they can just be returned like clothes that don't fit. They're people, Susan.
> 
> All my love,  
> Robin~


	2. Your Daddy Calls Me Daddy Too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, if your parents/adult family members have never made you die inside by trying to be funny, you guys aren't close.

Rip had spent the better half of eleven minutes searching for his phone all around his house, dodging teenagers and stepping over toddlers as he trekked about the two story home. After getting hit by the swinging pantry door by his eldest daughter, Kendra, he finally gave in and stood in front of the group of minors cooped up in the living room binging Fuller House. 

"Anyone see my mobile?" he asked, tone just a smidge desperate.

Kendra shrugged, "Didn't you have it in the kitchen when you were FaceTiming Jonas?"

"Ssshhh!" Sara threw a Cheeto at the older female.

"I checked there twice. Are you sure it's not in there with you lot?"

"We checked," Mick replied before catching a piece of popcorn the blonde threw at him for talking.

"Just call it, Daddy," Sara huffed, "Last time I checked Jonah's crappy phone is on the hallway table."

"Excellent idea, princess."

The green eyed man left to go use his boyfriend's phone, not that the latter would mind. He quickly called his phone and listened for Jonah's ringtone. The chorus of Ed Sheeran's Photograph reached his ears from the very living room his children claimed to have searched thoroughly.

"Can someone get that for me?"

"On it!" the oldest teen hollered as he was pelted by chips and popcorn by his siblings.

The music came from behind him where he was resting his back on the couch. Ray swiveled on his rear to dig through the couch cushions. After a moment his face lit up with triumph as he pulled the ringing cell phone from the depths of the couch. He briefly glimpsed at the contact on his dad's phone before a look of absolute horror crossed his face.

"Ray?" Rip called worriedly when he returned to the doorframe.

"Dude, you look like you've seen an old man's dick pic."

"Mick said a bad word," Leo announced.

"Dad," Ray gulped, "Why is Jonah's name on your phone 'Daddy'?"

Similar expressions of mortification crossed his family's faces save for the little boys enchanted by New Kids on the Block's performance on TV. At least Rip had the decency to stammer out excuses, catching Jonah's attention as he descended the stairs. He raised his left brow at the Hunters.

"Who died?"

"My sanity!" the Jewish teen exclaimed, waving the phone in the air.

"I need brain bleach," one girl stated.

"Give me whatever's left over," her sister said.

"I don't know if I'm disgusted or amused," Mick commented.

"Raymond, relax," a wicked smirk curling the unburned side of the bounty hunter's face.

"Jonah.."

"It's about time you guys knew your daddy calls me daddy too."

His response was met with various screeches and wails of mortification. And of course Rip Hunter's face turning beet red as he briskly walked over to rip his phone out of Ray's hand. He did his best to send a glare at his lover.

"Did you enjoy traumatizing my children, love?"

"No worse than when Gideon-"

"NOOOO!!!!" the teens screamed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my lovely little birdies~! Hope this got a laugh out of you. This might seem OOC on Jonah's part but this is just a snippet of a modern AU where Jonah and Rip have been together long enough for him to be comfortable enough to joke with the kids.
> 
> Five more left, guys.
> 
> All my love,  
> Robin~


	3. Kendra's First Musical

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: light Carter bashing, small Cisco/Kendra, Rip being an emotional mess bc it's Rip and he's a proud dad.

Ask anyone about what terrified Kendra Hunter most and they'd say opening night of Harry Fox High School's production of Grease. She fought tooth and nail to get cast as Sandy and dedicated every waking moment since her drama teacher, HR, told his theatre class they were going to be holding auditions for the end of the year musical to becoming Sandy Olsson. No matter how many times everyone reassured her she'd blow the house down, Kendra could be found pounding back coffee and reciting her lines. It certainly didn't help that her boyfriend was being a jealous jerk over not landing the role of Danny, thus Cisco Ramon being at Kendra's side so much that the Hunters accepted him as a regular guest at the house.

It also didn't help that Carter was unable to be with Kendra backstage and had to resort to sitting with her family in the second row. He took the empty seat besides Mick and blanched at the assortment of flowers in the possession of each Hunter. Even Jonah had one!

"Wha-" Carter's eyes darted at the various flowers, "You guys bought Kendra flowers?!"

"Ssshh!" Thea Queen kicked the back of his seat.

"Of course," the blonde Hunter replied while sniffing the single Bird of Prey she bought.

"It's her big day and we're her family," her older brother commented, one pink tulip on his lap.

"Honestly, we're surprised you didn't come up with it," Mick pointed the chrysanthemum at him.

"Shit," Carter hissed as he hunched forward in his seat to come up with a plan.

While attempting to formulate a plan, Martin and Clarissa walked down the aisle and took the last two seats in the row next to him. He greeted them with a distracted nod.

"Evening," they chimed in unison.

Out of the corner of his eye, the sandy brown haired teen could see something that was way too white to be Clarissa's burgundy Michael Kors purse.

"Martin," Carter breathed.

"Yes?"

"Did you and Clarissa buy flowers for my girlfriend?"

"Of course," the older female stated, "We got her lilies."

"We have it all planned out," the grad student stated excitedly.

"So we bought two bouquets, one we're going to untie and throw the flowers onto the stage," Clarissa said.

"And the other we'll give to her, so she knows it was us!" Martin finished with a broad smile.

"That's a brilliant idea," Rip complimented, holding Jax in one arm and a sunflower bouquet in the other.

"Ken'll love it," Jonah agreed, a rainbow of roses being held by the child on his lap.

Carter resisted the urge to scream in frustration. How had he managed to be bested by an entire family and two people who didn't even go to high school?! Burying his hands in his hair, he tried with all his might to think of a way to get a flower for his Kendra without missing her big night.

"Mick, give me your flower," the older boy blurted out, once again getting his seat kicked by the freshman behind him.

"Fuck off," the younger teen whispered.

"She'll never expect you to give her a flower, but she'll expect me to."

Mick turned his head to level a deadly glare at his sister's boyfriend, "Sucks to suck, asshole."

"Mi-"

"Shoulda-coulda-woulda, Carter. Shut up!" Thea sent another kick at the chair in front of her. "Some of us are trying to enjoy the ambience before the show starts..!"

The infamous Hunter turned back in his seat to fist bump the younger student, "Thanks, T." 

Thea winked.

Defeated, Carter sat quietly and tried to enjoy the show lest he piss off another Hunter and they end up snitching on him to Kendra.

For the others in attendance, Grease was practically a religious experience, like being spectators to the real world on a smaller stage. The way Cisco and Kendra flawlessly came together as the leads, Dinah Drake getting everyone to feel Rizzo's turmoil as if it was their first time hearing about the teen's pregnancy woes, Felicity Smoak brought a natural cheeriness to the stage as Frenchy (she rocked the pink hair too), even Tommy Merlyn and Oliver Queen--two idiots who joined theatre to get closer to Dinah, were convincing as the mischievous Sonny and Kenickie. Although, to be completely fair, they were a bottle of cheap pomade away from being modern day Greasers. Except for the whole billionaire heirs thing.

Sara found herself getting misty eyed during There Are Worse Things I Could Do, but it didn't compare to the twin set of waterfalls coming from her dad's eyes at Kendra's solo in Hopelessly Devoted to You. It was no secret how proud Rip was of Kendra landing the role she desired, for him to see her so passionately engrossed in the musical was too much for him to contain.

When the cast returned to the stage for their bow, the crowd erupted in a harmonious response of their own. Claps, whistles, and blatant cheers filled the air. Kendra was the first teen to take a bow and she was met with fanfare and lilies flung at her feet. And to Carter's increasing dismay, Cisco presented her with a bouquet of red roses after he bowed.

Kendra bobbed and weaved her way through the crowd to find her friends and family, free arm locked with her Latino costar. As she approached the group awaiting her, that fist around her heart disappeared at the sight of their ecstatic faces. She really did it. With a sideways glance at Cisco's grinning face, the black teen pulled him closer. Kendra Hunter was a good girl, the only time she could say she'd gotten high was traveling on planes, but she imagined this was what people meant when they said they were high on life. And it was a wonderful feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my lovely little birdies~! Just wanted to squeeze in a little fic before I completely lose wi-fi while being on a cruise boat for the next five days with my family. 
> 
> Well I hope you enjoyed this fic and all its zany goodness. I enjoyed writing the flower parts and describing the musical, those were really enjoyable. And I hadn't given much thought to what Kendra would want to be in the Main Fic. But I'm thinking she wants to be Rachel Berry but much less annoying (and prettier). Like Kendra has dreams for the stage and moves to New York to one day perform on Broadway. I don't know, just a thought.
> 
> Anyways, thank you for coming back for the third chapter, you guys must be gluttons for poor quality fics. There's just four more left and then it's back to brainstorming the Main Fic. See you guys back in five days! 
> 
> All my love,  
> Robin~


	4. Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mick is a great son.

"I can't believe you forgot!" Kendra hissed.

"You make it sound like I do this every year," Mick growled back.

"Celebrate birthdays? Yes, I do believe you do that multiple times a year."

"Last time I checked Dog the Bounty Hunter's only been in our lives for two years. Why are you trying to make a federal case out of this?"

"Because this is Jonah's first birthday as our dad and we all bought him gifts except for you!"

"You gotta admit it's pretty shitty of you to forget to get him something," the blonde Hunter commented from where she was stationed in front of a pan of sizzling bacon. Applewood smoked bacon from the butcher shop downtown, Jonah's favourite.

"Look, I'll figure it out. Don't worry about it."

Kendra and Mick engaged in an intense stare down, a battle of the sexes, until the older Hunter let out a heavy sigh and threw her hands up in defeat. Mick reached for a cooked piece of pork perfection before walking back to his sister and planting a big kiss on her cheek. Said girl grimaced at what she assumed was a reassuring gesture.

"Just relax, I'll go get Jonah something right now," Mick declared confidently.

Ray, whisking a bowl blueberry muffin batter, rolled his eyes. "There's a better chance of me growing a third nipple than you actually getting something remotely good now." When Ray looked up his younger brother was giving him the finger. With both hands.

After their fattening brunch where Jax spent most of the meal feeding soggy toast to Jonah, and Sara constantly fought everyone for the last piece of food--Ray was sporting two tiny black bruises on his thumb due to Sara's fork--Mick grabbed the keys to Jonah's Toyota and jetted out of the house without so much as a goodbye.

The remaining Hunters spent the afternoon bestowing their new dad with various gifts. Leo presented him with the cookies he baked with Ray and decorated with snowflake sprinkles and western themed frosting drawings. Kendra gifted him with a Blu-ray set of a documentary series about the 1800s. Her sister happily dropped a similar gift of Pitch Perfect 2 with the promise of watching it later in the week. Jonah let Jax tear at the wrapping paper the toddler "bought" and laughed when his son lost interest in the black shirt emblazoned with "Not a Stepdad But a Bonus Dad". Rip's gift… would come after the kids went to bed.

That left Mick.

Hours after brunch was over and dinner consisting of angel hair pasta and shrimp swimming in a lemony butter sauce was being passed around, Mick finally returned.

"I'm home," the pyromaniac announced as he strode towards the dinner table.

Kendra sent an intimidating stare that would have had a lesser man shrinking away. Instead, Mick sauntered over to seat himself in his usual spot next to Ray. Then the teen busied himself with piling pasta and breadsticks on his plate as everyone waited quietly. He gleefully shoveled carbohydrates into his mouth as his family continued to watch on.

Sara pointedly kicked her brother underneath the table, getting a pain filled grunt and a nasty glare.

"Mick, isn't there something you need to do for Jonah?"

The older teen stared at the blonde until a faux surprised look took over his face. Mick swallowed his mouthful before turning to smile at his stepdad.

"Happy birthday, Pops. I got you something that I knew would be just perfect."

Mick slid a bumper sticker next to Jonah's beer and leaned back in his chair without a care in the world. The other Hunters crowded around the gift with wide eyes at the big black letters.

SAVE A HORSE  
RIDE A COWBOY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my lovely little birdies! It's nice being back home, and since I can't exactly give you guys souvenirs from the Bahamas, I thought "Hey, update a fic." So I did. 
> 
> Tbh, I can't wait to write the Main Fic bc the dynamic between Mick and Rip is different from Mick and Jonah. Ultimately, Rip and Mick love each other, but they fight a lot and Jonah has to play mediator. It's this whole complex relationship between Mick and his dads, you'll find out.
> 
> Well, now that the little sneak peek (not really) is over, hope you guys enjoyed this latest installment and come back for more! Remember to go on adventures and appreciate your family!
> 
> All my love,  
> Robin~


	5. Bisexuality Does Not Mean DTF

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Graveyard Girl voice* S-assy sassy s-assy!

"Mr. Hunter, hi!" a woman with bright hazel eyes and a fashionable bob greeted, "I'm Joyce Oswald, Peter Oswald's mother?"

Rip gave her a small smile and extended his hand for her to shake out, he could hear his mother's voice in the back of his head to mind his manners.

"Yes, of course, it's nice to meet you, Mrs. Oswald."

"Oh please, call me Joyce," she laughs like he told her the joke to end all jokes.

"Then I suppose I must ask you to call me Rip."

"Okay then, Rip," she pops the P in his name and giggles again.

He sorely wishes Gideon hadn't taken his little ones to the park while he was here doing his parental duties. At least if he had his youngest boys with him he could say Jax needed a changing and flee the room.

"So Rip, I actually had a motive for speaking to you today."

"You don't say," the British man feigned surprise at the statement.

"Yes, you see my husband and I have been having some difficulties in our marriage as of late."

He frowned, she wanted marriage advice, "My sympathies, I myself tried counseling towards the end of my marriage and-"

"Oh! No no no, not that. We aren't that bad yet."

"Then what is it that you'd like to speak to me about?"

Joyce leaned into him and sent sideways glances around them. Her eyes lingered on the table the other White Suburban PTA Moms were stationed at. None of them were looking their way.. discretely.

"Well Ken and I were talking and.. We sort of thought a threesome might spice up our marriage."

_'No.'_

"I'm sorry, you want me to what?"

"I-" her cheeks flushed with a mixture of nervousness and embarrassment, "would like to know if you'd like to have a threesome with my husband and I."

"And you believe involving me in your sexual activities is going to help?" he deadpanned.

"Well yeah, but-"

"Well yeah nothing. What you're looking for is a sex worker, or perhaps a swinger. Not a father of six in a monogamous relationship with a man."

Joyce gaped at him, "I just thought.."

"You just thought what?" The longer Rip spoke to her the more he felt like he was parenting one of his own kids.

"Since everyone says you're bi I thought it wouldn't hurt asking if you'd join."

Rip was ready to snap at her until an idea popped into his mind. It was a parent's job to educate after all. 

"Sara!" he called, spotting the blonde next to Tommy Merlyn.

Upon hearing her name, Sara gave her friends a salute and rushed over to her dad. When she reached his side he slung an arm over her shoulders, making her smile and reach to hold onto his forearm.

"What's up?"

"I'm sorry to take you away from your friends, but Mrs. Oswald needs to know something."

"Ask away," Sara's smile stayed plastered on her freckled face.

"Does my bisexuality mean that I'm ready to jump into another couple's marital bed and shag?"

His daughter's brows furrowed for a brief moment before understanding dawned upon her face. A playful smirk curled her lips as she turned her head to face the PTA mom.

"Nope."

"And does your bisexuality mean that you're ready to join teenage orgies?"

"No no, Daddy-o," Sara replied.

"Thank you, Sara, that will be all. Though before you go I must ask that you refrain from telling your siblings about this exchange."

She rolled her eyes, "Unlikely, Dad." The blonde removed herself from Rip's side and went back to her group of friends ready to tell them all about how Peter Oswald's mom tried to initiate sex with her dad.

Rip returned to staring at Joyce, the friendly expression that had previously adorned his face wilted and became a deep set scowl.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I have to make a call to my lover to discuss with him my concerns with a certain member of the PTA. And you should run back to the Desperate Housewives and tell them I'm not some sex toy to shake things up in your marriage."

With his lips straightened in a firm line, Rip nodded towards the woman and stormed away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my lovely little birdies! This is probably my least favourite chapter in that I feel like even shitty, PTA moms don't do this kind of stuff. The ones I knew were just hella judgmental, mildly racist, and one was actually banned from a bar out in OV for being too rowdy on St Patty's Day. But hey, this is Central City, anything's possible.
> 
> Nevertheless, hope you still found this chapter amusing. Stay frosty, guys.
> 
> All my love,  
> Robin~

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, my lovely little birdies! Hope you guys enjoyed this ficlet. I'm trying to get back into writing and I figured something happy, sassy, and silly would be a great exercise. Plus, it's semi for a friend and that's bomb. 
> 
> There's six more of these left, so hope you guys stick around for more Hunter-Hex modern nonsense!
> 
> Once again, love ya, Eggsy!
> 
> All my love,  
> Robin~


End file.
